IBEROSTAR Grand Hotel Portals Nous

Sadly Mallorca’s image has been tarnished by the hordes of package tourists who party in Magaluf, men and women behaving badly. Fortunately they don’t infect the rest of the island and, certainly the brand new Iberostar Portals Nous is not for the likes of them.

Rather it’s a classy five star designer hotel with just 66 rooms, located just outside Palma and only half an hour from the airport. It’s also adults only and was designed by Dutch wizard, Marcel Wanders, with his distinctive curved lines, embossed surfaces and bold shapes.

When I arrive I’m immediately sent to the bar and given a glass of champagne while they sort out the check-in formalities. I’m also allocated a butler, or butleress, who informs that she’ll be looking after me for the duration of my stay. I’ve also got my eye on the adjacent small sandy beach which although not private will be the venue for early morning dips. Soon I’m whisked up to my room and note that the lift is so new that the stops don’t quite correlate with the floor numbering. Or perhaps it’s a deliberate designer quirk?

Anyway I’m on the seventh floor and have sea views and a small balcony. The room is spacious, all black and white apart from a yellow rug and a huge blue eye separating the bedroom from the bath area. This is apparently one of Marcel Wanders’s trademarks and it’s also functional as the reverse side is a circular mirror. There’s a separate toilet and power shower and his and hers bowl washbasins, supplied with Bvlgari toiletries.

Of course the bed is a real double, not two single mattresses joined together, and I’m gratified to see that there’s also a pillow menu which I can dial up from my butler. Even better there’s a small desk area with USB charging points and of course free Wi-Fi. A Nespresso machine and a 48″ satellite TV are standing by and the control for the air conditioning can also notify the housekeeper when to make up your home. Best of all, I can open the window and the gentle sound of the waves lulls me to sleep.

Just outside my room is the spacious pool area, on two levels, with one wall of the hotel turned into a giant waterfall. There’s also a bar here where, as well as drinks, you can order room service meals. The restaurant proper, the Astir, is located two floors below reception and its terrace is at beach level, offering unrivalled views of the Mediterranean. Food is excellent here and they pride themselves on being the only place in Mallorca to serve El Capricho meat, the famous beef from Leon in Spain. I particularly like the breakfasts where they bring a miniature glass showcase to your table, packed with individual croissants, cakes and mousses.

As well as the normal rooms there are also a handful of uniquely themed suites, including gaming, stargazing and even naughtiness – a circular bed, mirrored ceiling and pole dancing area, offers ultimate pleasures. I prefer the fully equipped gym or the wellness centre with Marcel Wanders’s Tree of Life sculpture rising from the floor. This luxury spa has saunas, special showers, and an area dedicated to holistic therapies with a choice of health and beauty services.

For those of you who feel the need to venture out of the hotel, a short fifteen minute walk brings you to the Sunset Market, complete with designer shops, in the sophisticated Puerto Portals Marina. This is where the rich moor their yachts and it’s packed with classy restaurants and bars. And it’s just a short taxi ride into the city of Palma. Me, I prefer the clear waters of the Portals Nous cove, which I have to myself in the early morning and the late evening.